(no subject)

I am jumping at shadows now. And at people. Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy.

I really wish I had my powers back. I feel very unprotected with out them if Jono's running around. He scares me worse than Lorac. I mean Lorac at least loves me... on some level. Jono... I don't know about Jono. What his motives are. Never did.

Maybe I should send Lorac after him.

No, bad idea. Don't know what would happen if Jono killed Lorac. I'd probably be so messed up in the head I'd be an easy target.

What if that's what he's doing?

Gah... I feel like I'm second guessing and jumping at everything. I can't work like this.

It's really nice of Teena... the offer of razing Jono's soul should he try something (acourse according to her he's already tried something) I just don't want to lay around and feel like bait. But I also don't want to go and look for him. Don't want to invite trouble.

I really need to get my mental defenses up to order. They're as shoddy as shit. Arty brought up Archer and Black. I imagine that they could help. I just don't know if I could ask them to help. Stupid Pride. It's gonna kill me. If I could get killed. Get me hurt at least.

I really don't want anyone in my head. I really don't want Jono in my head.

I need help.