Sacrifices are neccessary.

My live journal icon seems extremely appropriate right now, in what happened last night. "...Belive me I cacluclated the odds of this succeding vs the odds of me doing something incredibly stupid.. and I went ahead anyway and did it."

Teena, Author, dumped essense of Sue on me. The pink one. Instead of possesing me (you can't really posses a Stu) ... it well... it let down... it broke through those safe guards, the will power sort of things that made me an Ex-Stu. All the little things, the safe guards that I put up so I don't hurt people... and enjoy it. I wasn't really a nice Stu. I was a power hungry bastard of a Stu.

It's taken a lot of work to get to where I am. Years, and years and years. then in a blink of an eye... or a drop of a bottle... I was essentially back on the wagon. It was like... being clean and then getting a fix again.

Or being given a fix... sort of against your will. Because you always want it. You know what you had and what you lost. That wonderful feeling of being on top of the world.

It is the ultimate drug.

And I don't know who to blame for this incident. At least part of it. Kippur for thinking it, Teena for doing it, Kit for not stopping or protesting it... or me for letting them do it to me.

then... then I did the unthinkable...I dumpped the second vial on Teena. I sue'd her. And it was wonderful. She was wonderful. I wanted her. Her perfect body against mine and I wanted to do things to her...

Thankfully we... I ... Verra... we got the Sue out of her. Especially since it became self aware.

It took a lot of reality twisting on my part. The Sue was a tricky one.

She demanded a price for the control I used over reality.

She said I should have let it take its course... let the Chaos play out as it would.

So... She took Corry.