(no subject)

Great news!!!

I found Verra! I have no idea where she was, probably limbo. But Teena did a summoning spell and brought her back. She was PISSSSED too. And possesed. She gave Teena, Ginger and Artemis a hellauva a lot of trouble. Good thing she was in a warded circle or she would have roasted everyone in the room. And then eaten them. I don't know if I could have stopped her. She didn't seem to recognize me.

That I think was the scariest bit of it all.

She didn't know who I was. Or if she did, she didn't care.

Even when she was in her worst moods. Broody, homicidal or what not, I was never afraid of her. She always knew who I was. She never meant it. Not to me at least. She would threaten big time, but it wasn't meant. I would just end up at my brother's house. This time. Her Possessed, I was scared.

I guess it wasn't really her.

It looked like her. And sounded like her. And it sorta felt like her... but it wasn't.

She's sleeping now. In graditude I went and grabbed some contraband Fire Lizard eggs. One for Teena and one for Artemis.

I don't know what she's going to be like when she wakes up.

Teena's an emotional wreck now, (she got possesed by the Sue a little later). So I think that might be something that happens to Verra.

I don't know. I just hope she's okay when she wakes up.

Maybe she and Teena should talk. Therapy like you know.

I'll ask Teena later.

Lingquistics and dragon sayings

Dragons have a saying. Don't get cocky, there's always someone bigger than you. Being an ex-stu I generally forget this saying as I am generally one of the biggest things around. being the Physcial Embodiment of Chaos for the Entire Multiverse generally means that you are one of the strongest things out there. Cocky? Yes. Very.

So the Karmatic physics of the multiverse with natural chaotic tendencies decided to kick me in the balls and bring me down quite a few levels.

How'd they do this?

They brought in Lorac in full Psycho Mode. And I mean FULL Psycho Mode.  Not normal sorta stalkerish mode, like he's been around HQ, but just snapped ready to kill anyone that got in between him and me psycho mode. The sort that makes a fangirl's lust a mere "oh yeah I guess he could be kinda cute".  Have absolutely no idea what tipped him over. If I ever find out, I'm gonna personally rewrite their history.

In aaannnny case. He comes in and starts doing his thing and I start panicking under the lust or whatnot that he's projecting, trying not to leap into his arms and do things that shouldn't be done in public. He starts picking on Irvine and Teena. And then he turns Irvine to ice. It went down hill from there.

I curl up into a shell shocked ball while Ginger and Irvine keep him away from me and Teena tries to get me coherent. And Lorac's practically foaming at the mouth.

All I wanted to do was to go to him and have him hold me...It took me almost everything I had not to. All my pride and dignity at least.

With Teena's super-fantatastic I'm going to owe her for the next seven hundred lifetimes help I managed to banish Lorac. Out of the room.

Not out of my head. Not completely at least.

A side note before I continue.

In my world we have a word, Pelmarra. For me it basically translates to boyfriend or girlfriend. It's kinda a unisexual word. Which makes sense because I've had boyfriends and girlfriends and they were all my Pelmarra. Now Lorac however comes from a thousand years before me. Languages, as you all know, change over time. For him Pelmarra means something different. It's means... someone that you'd defy all fate and hell to be with, someone that you need to be with despite all logical bearings on the subject. It's not a soul mate. You don't nesscerally have to like them or want to be with them. You just need to be with them. Need to touch them and feel them or else you've just got this big empty hole in your life that nothing else is going to fix. Not really love... not really lust.  Just Pelmarra. His definition is closer to the real meaning of the word than my definition.

It comes from a Myth of ours about two lovers, Pell and Marra, who Fate decided that they weren't going to be together and yet somehow they always managed to find each other. Despite all odds. They didn't have a very happy relationship.

Where was I going with this? Well, unfortunately, due to the Powers That Be Lorac and I are Pelmarra.

I love Verra. Trully deeply madly insanely love her. She's perfect for me, she makes me happy, I enjoy her company, I enjoy being with her, seeing her, making her smile.

I need Lorac.

I hate him. I hate the feelings that he brings up in me. The way he makes me act and everything about him.

But I still need him. Crave him. Need to touch him and feel him.

The fact that we're empathcially bonded makes things in away easier, because I can feel him without being near him. He's always with me, even when he's not.  I couldn't break the bond. I don't want to break the bond. I think it would make it worse.

...

Feel free to laugh at me now.