element_wizard | The house between the worlds

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The house between the worlds

And then the house.

The house held memories of a life pruned. The path this house held in his life had been cut away. Pruned to nothing as it no longer fit. It was no longer relevant. He no longer had a wife and children. In a way, it was a relief.

He never cared for them. He'd never, ever, ever admit that out-loud. It's not something people said. They had been given to him because, of all things, a Hercules the Legendary Journeys episode. The one with the baby dragon who'd been caught and made to burn villages as extortion. At least, he thought that was the plot. The episode was only seen once. But the baby dragon caught his writer's fancy. As things did. So, he became the dragon's father. It worked, because his writer wanted it to work. If he fathered a child, then there must be a mother. Thus Braxious and Verra Rose came into his life.

Ah, Verra Rose. Alec reached up to touch one of the many orange roses that grew on the side of the house. He'd planted them for her. She loved orange roses. But he didn't love her. Not like a person loved a lover, the mother of their children. The emotions he felt towards her were just ... friendly. If at all. Not that he'd ever admit that either. There were somethings that shouldn't ever be said.

Saying them gave truth, even if it was a lie.

Their love was just placed upon them. Because that was how the world worked. At least until his writer discovered slash.

He laughed softly. He could remember all sorts of ways the writer tried to have him have sex with other men when they didn't know it was possible to do it as two men. Usually he ended up getting turned into a woman. Gender-flipping at its finest. Naivete. Maybe even the unconscious realities of the writer's gender-queerness.

Once it was realized though... that branch had to be cut off. The heterosexual one. He could no longer go against his character, right? How else could he grow properly?

Sitting down on the stoop he looked out at the large oak tree in across from the house. There he'd buried his family.

Their deaths had been violent.

It had to be. It had to be final. No going back. No retcons. No miraculous back from the dead. That part of his life was over. Done.

He mourned properly and then moved on.

What else could he do?

Which left only the house.

Should he keep it or should he let it go?

He didn't know.

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You have to be yourself Alec. It can be traumatic, dramatic, or chaotic, but you have to be yourself, to grow, to strive. Stand still too long and you stagnate.

And your house? Is it just a building now? Is there nothing about it that gives you pleasure, not even pleasurable memories? If not, do what I did. I burned my house to the ground and started over. For my future, not my past.

It's memories. I don't know if they're good or bad. It ... feels like a different life. Someone who doesn't exist any more.

*nods* Well, they can be both.

But if it's not your life, not your life now, or in the future? *she looks around, smiles at the orange roses. Roses always were her favorites*

Then put it away, board it up and go find something that works for the person who does exist. Someplace that works for the person who exists now.

As long as you give me your address, I mean. I'd hate to have to come hunting you down to find you again. *sly wink* But I would. For you. We've been friends far too long for me not to, ya know?

Not my life now or in the future. Or in the past any more. *laughs* I'll probably just leave it boarded up.

I might be moving to a place on the ocean in the tropics. A beach house. It's really nice. Belongs to the maybe boyfriend.

I'd hope you would. Even if we don't see each other as much as we shooould.

Makes sense. Kind of. *nods* It's a good idea though. Let the land claim it's own again.

Although, would you mind if I looked in on your garden on occasion? *grin*

And that sounds wonderful! Someplace with a different horizon, a different sunset or sunrise. I think the change might be good for you, Alec. Least I hope so.

And of course I would. I just have to find a plot to get into, to get the old hag to let me stick around for longer than a post or two. I keep getting lost because... well, I'm lost. *laugh* As usual.

But for you? I'd come looking. *quieter* I swear it.

Of course not. It's always nice to have something beautiful loved and appreciated. You can even take cuttings if you want.

I think I need change. And Phoenix -almost boyfriend- is good change. He's very sweet.

We both need plots. They're what make life life. I'm thinking about adopting maybe.

As would I. If you ever need help...

*that gets a big grin, and she knows JUST where she's going to put the rose cuttings too! But... when he returns there might just be a purple rose bush or two added to his current color scheme as well - shhhh, it's a secret!*

You need someone good for you, and good to you. That's important, really.

*tilting her head, she ponders* I know some good adoption lawyers, if you need. At least, I know the one who did Tom's adoption was excellent. Even if he did work for Wolfram and Hart. *shrug* Have you found a child to adopt, or are you still in just the planning stages?

Me, need help? Perish the thought! *bright laughter* Well, maybe if I find that plot I'm looking for. I'll give you a heads up though, first, ok?

*holds out a hand* Don't let the past keep you from your future, ok? It's good to remember, but not so good to dwell - I know this. Spent over a year in solitude in fact; before I could pick up and carry on. And it took a good friend to help me find my way. So I'm sayin', as a good friend; if you ever get lost, I'd be happy to help you as well.

Do you need help boarding it up? I can stick around if you want. Or we can take off, go do something and come back to this later. It's up to you Alec. *smiles soft* It's your future after all.

*would like to see that!*

Oh he's very good to me. *smiles goofily*

Waaaay still in the planning stages. I haven't even mentioned it to Phoenix yet.

I don't plan on letting it stop me. Sometimes it's good to remember and I've been trying to clean things up recently to make sure it's all tied up so nothing will come undone with the future.

Too much brooding here. We should go do something and catch up with our lives.

So, you think I can meet this guy that puts such sparkles in your eyes, Alec? *grin*

*nod*

I understand that feeling. Really. *nods* Come on then, let's get out of here, go get a milkshake or something. We can come back later, or - you know, you can come back alone for more time to think. Just don't take too much time.

Where you want to go?

Sure. I'd love to show him off. He looks like Ewan McGregor.

Milkshakes sound good. I'm sure there's a good milkshake place in the Nexus Mall.

Ewan McGregor - young Obiwan? Do I have the right guy? The one who was in that musical with Nicole Kidman right, Moulin Rouge? Excellent!

I've ah, been hanging out with Lobo again lately, might be wanted in a couple places for a bar fight or three. So I think that maybe I should meet your friend alone, ok? And not bring the Czarnian. Yea, I think that sounds like a great idea.

... where is the Nexus Mall again?

Yup! That's the right guy.

Tsk. You should stop that. *teasing* He's shy anyway, so I don't think I'd want to inflict Lobo on him.

...of course I wouldn't want to inflict Lobo on anyone.

I have no idea!

Should stop what? Fighting in bars, or fighting beside Lobo? Because I'll tell you, it's easier to fight beside him than it is to fight against him, that's for sure! *wicked little grin*

... Neither would I.

This may present a problem you know...

You know, I'm not sure.

Naaah! Where's your sense of adventure?

*long look before laughing* Look, long as we don't end up in the oven over at Transgression? I'm all for adventure. Lead on, Sir Alec, where shall we journey this time?

Homigawds Transgression! There's a name I haven't heard in AGES!

Well Fair Lady Leela, I say... thattaway. *And he walks off in a random direction!*

*she laughs, bright fun-filled laughter filling the air* Like a bad penny, the hotel turns up again! That place will never die, you know?

*And whistling a quiet tune, she catches up to him and accompanies him in the direction he's going*

I certainly hope not. Enough things seem to be vanishing into the mist.

*he whistles in counterpoint with her*

[And there's a man, hands behind his back, leaning on a wall, watching him.]

Was it hard for you? Those kinds of changes? Or was it just... [He waves vaguely.] Growing into a third dimension?

It was hard, because it happened real as day. Even if it got written out. It still happened. *Not surprised at all at stranger showing up*

Yeah. It's always bad. [Pause, then he holds out a hand.] Tyroshaun. Currently of Glauster.

...Did you regret it much?

Alec Troven. *he gives the hand a good shake* Currently of... nowhere.

Regret what?

Nowhere's an uncomfortable place to be, in my experience. [Wry smile.]

Losing them. Leaving them behind. Whatever you want to call it.

I'm moving to the tropics. Boyfriend to be maybe has a beach house there he's letting me stay at.

Sometimes. I try not to think about it.I miss being a dad a bit. But... there wasn't anything there between me and Verra.

Beach house? Not bad. I've never been one for the tropics myself. I like my northern cities, forests, mountains. [Faint smile.] Or southern. But temperate, is my point. Temperate, with snow in the winter. But Glauster's more to do with the world I'm currently in. Been bounced around a lot.

...Yes. The children make it harder. [Beat.] Just the one author involved?

I love the ocean. I grew up high in the mountains. Never saw the ocean until I was in my teens.

Children always make it harder. *breathes our hard for a second* One author who came up with the plot and allowed others in to play.

Grew up in mountains and hills myself. Highlands, really. Fertile, rich--there were some coasts nearby, I guess, and the neighboring kingdom has them. I just... love my home.

They do. [He looks wistful.] Could be worse, though, I suppose. Were they hers, or one of the others'?

We got a lot of snow and rain. The summers were nice though. The ocean just was this huge exotic place. I mean a body of water bigger than a lake! That you couldn't see the end of or go around. Fairy tales.

I suppose. My family and the murderer were hers. I guess it wouldn't have been fair to have someone else do the deed. There was irony in it too.

My... well. How to put this. My father's best friend ruled the next kingdom over, so we spent a lot of time there, and it was a merchant, trading place. Plus, honestly, the whole geography of our world is remarkably undefined at the moment. [Eyeroll.] I suspect that there will be ocean nearby for me relatively soon, if I'm reading author intentions properly. Besides, the world-hopping I've done, I think the only geography I haven't been forced into at some point or another is rainforest.

Irony? [Eyebrow raise.] How so?

We have maps. There aren't any rainforests that I know of, but where I live isn't suited for that. I imagine further south there might be some. Or to the west.

As for the irony, the person who killed them is now, canonically, my lover.

I'm sure there are rainforests in my world. I'm just not sure where. Probably outside what I'll see in my lifetime. Not that that's hard.

Ah. [Beat.] ...It could have been worse. My wife and two of my children weren't acutally my author's. Things are mildly murky as to my relationship status.

Probably outside what I'll see as well.

That makes this awkward. It's always hard to be in a relationship with someone who's not your author's. Shit happens and there it goes.

What happened... may I ask?

Honestly, I'm not too disappointed. I dislike heat and humidity.

Things were a little difficult, but we were trying to fix them. [His face is carefully blank--he lies, a little.] And then the authors had a long-standing sore wound blow up between them. Haven't spoken in eighteen months or so.

I have... sort of a new wife. Sort of a picking of certain key qualities about her and minor changes. But it's not... it's not the same.

I'm a sucker for heat.

*At that Alec laughs. Hard* Oh gods... oh... that's so... almost had the... actually the same damn.....

I'm not. I like snow and dark greens.

[And Tyroshaun just raises an eyebrow, body language clearly demanding an explanation for that laugh. Also, if you look closely, he's a little hurt. He loves her, after all.]

*seeing his expression Alec sobers up immediately*

Not your wife! Just... my writer had a similar situation with someone I was involved with that yours did.

I gathered. [Pause, then, sympathetically.] It's hard. [He shrugs a little.] She... she'd changed by then, anyway. We neither of us were quite who we'd been, or been intended to be. This is closer, now. Rania and I. I do miss my daughter who isn't with my author--and my son, although he always hated me. He's probably happier this way.

Authors are... ridiculous, sometimes. [Half-smile.]

I know. Changing is hard. Change and realization. I suppose it's almost like being a real person.

I'm sorry about your son. They were clearly older than mine. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

All the times.

My author sometimes swears I am real. She thinks I've tampered with things in the real world all the time. [He grins.] It suits my ego, so I let her flail.

[His eyes cloud a little.] It's... a strange situation. My other two children are... kind of in a different time--or universe altogether--than I am, now. So there will be others.

And I do love her. [Faint, sad smile.] I'm not sure if it makes things better or not.

So does mine. She said that once sort of jokingly at another Comm and got blasted all to Hell though. We're not real, you know, saying other wise is blurring the lines between reality and non and only crazy people do that. *grins madly* Like all authors aren't crazy to begin with.

Ah. I know how that is, yeah.

Depends on your definition of real. [He smiles a little, a strange smile.] To ourselves, we're real. Have you heard of a book called Sophie's World? My author is obsessed with it, and there are some interesting questions of reality raised in it.

Well, I still sort of get to go home to her. It's just... not quite the same.

Real is very dependable, I think.

I've heard of Sophie's World, but just the title, nothing else.

A different version?

It is that.

It's an enjoyable book, and according to my author an excellent substitute for a university philosophy course.

Something like that. It's her, but not--less intense, perhaps, is the best way of describing it. [He shrugs a bit.] She doesn't know the difference, of course--but I do.

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The house between the worlds

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