element_wizard | Sue Hunt

Entry tags:

mel,
ppc,
sue

Sue Hunt

The Fic

Alec led Mel into the world of the PPC HQ. It was a world of bland gray corridors that seemed to lead nowhere. Agents dressed in black mostly wandered around muttering to themselves as they tried to get somewhere quickly. Intersperced with them were minis of all sorts and the occasional giant plant that moved along ... somehow. It was best not to think about it. One agent walked around holding something in their hands like it was completely dear to them. A second agent patted the first agent comfortingly on the shoulder.

He stopped at a room marked "3b". The one next to it was marked "π" and across was labled "Broom Closet". A funky smell was coming from the broom closet.

"Okay... before we go in,my partner, Marc-C is gonna be in there. She's... cranky. But don't take anything she says personally. She just hates everyone."

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Melinda stuck close to Alec- she didn't want to get lost, and besides, she was a Sue. An agent might kill her. Almost bouncing with excitement, a huge grin on her face, she'd had a good day.

"Okay. I'll try, Alec."

Marc-C was a large woman with short cut blonde hair and a permantly disgusted look on her face. She was seated at a consol with lots of buttons and flashing lights cleaning a gun of some sort. She looked at Alec and then at Mel, critically before grunting, "Troven."

"Hey Marc-C. I'm taking Mel through 'Falling in Love with Legolas'. It got an update and the upstairs want to do a check on the canon and do a double kill." He looked over to Mel and explained, "This Sue has already been killed but we have to go through it again because of the posting of the new chapter. They like having different agents than the originals go through the check because it helps with the sanity rates."

Marc-C snorted her opinion of that.

Griiin. "I'm up for that. How soon are we going?"

Melinda licks her lips slightly. A Sue Kill. YAY! Man, from what Alec had said about Kate... This'd be fun.

"Now, of course. You always have to go Now," Marc-C languidly. "I got the CAD fixed after the last accident. Please don't break it again."

"Right, of course, no garuntees though," Alec said, rummaging through a locker. He pulled out a bag and tossed it to Mel. "Standard field kit," he said, taking one for himself.

Marc-C punched a few things into the computer. "You're going in as Rohirrim. Figure that shouldn't be too noticeable. Hope you like horses, girl."

Shaking his head, Alec held up his hand, "We're going to be going into the fourth wall. It's a little weird for first timers. You'll be able to see the text of the story and all the mistakes will come to their logical and obvious conculsion, especially the gramatical sense. You got that?"

Melinda goes through the forth wall enough- she'll know how it feels like. There's a nod. "I like horses. And we're seriously going into Middle Earth? Can we, I dunno, stay at an Inn there?" She's extremely new at this. Please forgive her.

Catching the bag, she checks the contents.

Twinkies, more twinkies, a set of cards, a set of the Lord of the Rings, some other things that look really useful. Rope. Other stuff. Beef jerky. Sleeping bag. Pad of paper and pencil.

"Yeah, we're going to be in Middle Earth, but can't really stay in an Inn, unless they do, and even still, we're going to be invisible and so it'd be rather hard to get good service in an Inn."

"Besides you're not there for a vaction. It's a hunt. You have to stalk your prey." Marc-C said. "You're all set."

"Right. Ready to go into the fourth wall?"

"Aw, man... Okay, then. I'm ready." The girl beams, and then puts the bag over her shoulder, ready and waiting.

A button was pushed and then a portal was opened. Stepping through it let into the fic itself. It was completely black.

And then came the words.

If I spell anything wrong, or there is anything that needs to be corrected in any of my stories please feel free to tell me so.

The words were there in front of their eyes, but not. And at the same time a high pitched sort of snotty voice read them off.

And I don’t own anyone other than Kate.

"Keep her," Alec muttered in the darkness. He wasn't visible to any sort of light. They were in the place right before the story so nothing existed yet.

This is a story I thought up involving characters from Lord of the Rings. It petty much follows the same basic story in the beginning but instead of Eowyn, there is a different female character; named Kate.

Major Differences Between My story and the real LOTR

Arwen and Legolas are cousins (I don’t know if that is true or not) and she does not have any romantic relationship with Aragorn.

My characters, Kate, does have a relationship with Legolas throughout the story.

Eowyn is not there. Kate is Theoden’s daughter and Eomer is her cousin.

The meeting of the fellowship takes place at Edoras.

At the beginning of this story, when Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn arrive at the Edoras; Theoden is NOT ill.

Also, Gandalf is always white, not gray.

Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, and Gandalf have been friends for long before the story began.

More of the plot differences will be discovered in future chapters.

"And there goes the entire point of the Lord of the Rings. Let's go home shall we?"

It felt weird. Not a bad weird. Just... different.

And then she saw the words. And then she wondered why God was that cruel. And she also wondered if the girl that wrote it knew that CAHRACTER is singular. Gah! She shuddered. She'll need a shower after this.

"Okay. Wait, we just started! How can we go home?"

"I was kidding Mel," Alec said with a smile.

The scene shifted abruptly. It was rather like getting the rug yanked out from under you and then getting dropped into a hole.

Kate, daughter of Theoden of Rohan stood outside the great stone steps of her palace at Edoras. The wind in the air flung around a piece of loose hair that had escaped her bun from underneath her navy hood. She stood erect and held her chin high while she waited for the men that had come to save the world….

Alec stumbled a little, the transition had caught him off guard. Regaining his balance he said, "There is no Palace in Edoras. Charge one."

Already she was shuddering at the description. She thought SHE was a bad Sue. Mel's balance is already wonky- she falls flat on her face. "Owww." is muttered, and she stands up, rubbing her nose.

"What was the most charges a Sue was ever given?" she asks, carefully moving her jaw side to side.

Unfortunately Alec doesn't have any time to answer as once again there's a scene transition. This one is as bad as the last one. They had moved... to somewhere.

Again the palace was standing there. It looked at odds with the rustic Rhorrim buildings. Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn with Gandalf the White (who was fluttering to grey because the canon was trying to reasert itself in a linear fashion) walked up the palace steps.

Legolas noticed an assortment of other people standing behind the king, but as he approached his eyes were immediately drawn to a small caped figure standing to the right of King Theoden. As he got closer, he noticed the short figure was actually a girl in a dark blue cape. As he walked by, Legolas gave the traditional nod and while receiving the same from the mystery lady and that’s when he noticed her piercing green eyes. That was then he remembered that King Theoden had a daughter, although no sons; only a nephew.

Alec grabbed Mel and pulled her into the crowd of 'assortment of other people' to be not noticed by the Sue. "Getting rid of Theodred, Eowyn. Wormtongue..." he muttered to himself.

Yanked into the crowd, Melinda blinks. Wait. That was different. She doesn't really remember seeing a palace in the movies...

Sticking close to Alec, Mel gets ready. Sue killing time!

Legolas continued on past her and gave the formal bow to the King and a nod to the blonde-haired boy. After everyone had come up, they were ushered into the castle and into a main hall. There were colored flags hanging down from the ceiling and the room, although made of stone was cheery and filled with sunlight from high windows.

For some reason, she had a hard time imagining anything but the hobbits being 'cheery.' It was either gloomy or pretty. A quiet whisper "Are we allowed to bring anything back with us from the Sue?"

"Yeah. We're allowed to take spoils," he said absently poking at the stone walls. "I really wonder how she got the idea for a castle. It's a hall, not a castle."

Blah, blah, skip over to the feast.

Alec moved through the crowd, picking food off people's plates and pointed out Boromir and Aragorn. "Look, you can see them fighting the Sue's influence."

The two men were chatting like old friends, but both had this look of "I don't know you" and Boromir kept on looking around and shaking his head as if he was certain he didn't belong there.

Alec pulled out a CAD and pointed it at them. It gave a soft bleep.

[ARGORN -AKA he of way to many names... Canon = 50%]

[Boromir - Son of Denathor ... Canon = 50%]

"They haven't ruptured yet. Good." he then grinned at Mel, want to see what happens when we point it at Leggy-poo?"

"Oh, cool. I might take something back for my doctor's bird. It likes shiny things." is said, but she listens to Alec. She saw them fighting it- yeah, they were trying.

"Sure, why not?" munch munch. Meh. This food was... different. Currently, she was trying to see if the Sue had any shiny things on her.

Alec fiddled with a nob on the CAD for a second before pointing it at Legolas. It gave a hiccup and started to flash warningly.

[Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood...Canon 35%]

"He's heading towards rupture..."

Legolas looked around. There was soft music playing a happy tune. Ironic, because of the brooding danger that the whole castle would soon know about. He wasn’t sure if anyone but the King and his advisors knew the reason for the meeting that was to be held. Either way it would be—Legolas’s thoughts were interrupted as he spotted his green-eyed mystery princess descending a flight of stairs. She was wearing a white gown trimmed in gold that set off the sunlight colors of her golden hair. Her hair was what he noticed first. It was long and curly and descended a long way past her shoulders. He had an odd urge to touch it.

At that last line the CAD's Display changed to

[Legolas AKA Letch... Character RUPTURE!!1!ELVENTUYONE!1LUB A DUCK!1!!] and started to sizzle.

"Crap."

Well, she thought, the gown would be nice for Orwell to make a nest out of. The sizzling CAD was a bad sign, she decided.

"How much time do we have?" she asks. Poor Legolas. He didn't deserve that.

"All the time we need. It just means that he'll be difficult when we try to kill her," he said, putting away the CAD.

She dismissed the title with a wave of her hand, “Oh please don’t. Call me Kate.”

She smiled warmly and turned towards Legolas, her golden hair shining in the light showing flecks of red.

Legolas was so entranced he almost didn’t reply. Then he caught himself, “Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood.” He took her hand and placed a light kiss on the top of her knuckles.

"Legolas means Greenleaf, it's not his last name. And how do you have red flecks in hair... unless it's paint?"

Sure enough, Kate had paint flecks in her hair. Red Paint flecks.

"Guh. Okay." Maybe the Sue would have a pretty sword? She could take that... Something shiny.

Nibbling on some food, she watched the Sue carefully. Gnr. Already she wanted to spork it.

Again the scene shifted as the chapter ended. There was a brief, rather dumb, author's note: Also, this is a ROMANCE story for my fans at quizilla and such. I know it doesn’t follow the real LOTR and if you don’t like that, sorry. Also, a lot of questions about LOTR that are being posed will be solved later on in the story, such as the fellowship, the journey, and the other characters. Thanks.

Which caused Alec to mutter, "Why not just write original fiction.

They were in a room, but it was indistinct as there was no discription. They got a lovely description of her clothes though.

"How about that band?"

She gave a shrug. "Sure. I'll give it to Orwell... He's a smart raven, he'll like it."

Cracking her knuckles, she got ready. Any minute now.

Alec notices this and shakes his head, "We've got to wait until the last chapter. Sorry."

He watched as the hobbits showed up for some bizzare reason. Frodo seemed perfectly hale, not a single blade wound in him. "Why would they even come here! It doesn't make any sense!" He pointed to the edges of the story. "Look you can see, it's effecting the canon."

"She has a swooord. Can I have the sword?" big eyes.

Blinking, she looks over at the edges of the story. "Huh. You're right."

It had been a while since she'd watched the movies, but she remembered something about Frodo getting hurt? Wasn't Frodo not... shy? He seemed to act un-shy.

What.

Okay. Last chapter. She can wait. Pointy Shiny Thing in store.

Frodo gave a reading of 25% which was near canon rupture.

"Come on, let's go see the Council Scene. Those are always amusing. It's amazing how many ways this scene can be rehashed. Oh, and yeah, you can have the sword."

Mel's grin turns downright evil. "Great. I like sharp pointy things. Do you want anything?" But she's keeping track of how many people are ruptured or close to it. And hobbits could keep coming at you, even if you shoved them out of the way.

"Nah, that's alright," Alec led Mel to where the Council Scene (tm) was to take place. Theoden got right down to business.

He began to speak, “Attention, everyone. I would like to thank you all for coming today. But we must get straight to the heart of the matter. The One Ring has been found; and with it, the means to destroy the whole world. The only way to destroy this ring is to take it into the fires of Mordor.” With that last sentence everyone was quiet. They were shocked, he could tell. Then everyone started talking at one.

As he talked Elrond flickered into view and then vanished in the same place at Theoden. It was kinda odd.

"So, Mel, tell me, what is wrong with that last paragraph?" Alec felt it was never to early or late to train people.

"I don't think he ever says 'thank you for coming today.' And 'at one' should be 'at once.'" she says, considering. Mm, sword. Screw diamonds, cold hard steel was a girl's best friend.

"They don't pause a minute, either. They just... start talking." she shrugs.

"Verra good on the technical sense. Now here's what's wrong with it logically. According to canon no one knew about the one ring being found except Gandalf and later Elrond. Elrond knew so much about the one ring because he was around when it was made and he's the scholarly sort. He even knew how to destroy it and it's entire history which has been lost to man. In fact if you recall, the ring was thought lost. So why would a king of men know about it, if it is lost? Only the elves and the Wizards would remember it, much less how to deal with it.

"See where I'm going?"

There was a pause. "Yeah, I think I do." Which means not really. She should have rewatched the movies.

"How did they find out? Because..." hand-wavy. Logic go out window in Sue Stories.

"You're thinking too hard. These are things that the author should have thought of before writing the story. Because she hasn't thought about it we get giant plot holes that destablize the world."

"Okay. How long do we have?" she's drumming her fingers against a wall. Maybe hitchhicking with the PPC wasn't too bad.

"The end of the Fic. Paitence grasshopper," Alec said with a grin.

There was silence. Theoden looked torn. Finally, he spoke, “I do not want you to go. This is a dangerous mission. But you are right. If we don’t accomplish this task, all of Middle Earth will be destroyed. I know that if I tell you no you will go off anyway. Yes, you may join them,” a gasp could be heard around the room, “We have here a fellowship of 10. God be with you.”

".... there is no Jesus in Middle Earth. She did NOT just say that there was a Jesus in Middle Earth!"

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Sue Hunt

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