element_wizard | (no subject)

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The other side of the portal lead to the end of everything. Or an everything. It was a surprisingly nice end of everything. A bar with plenty of tables, booths and comfortable chairs sitting by a fire with fish swimming within the flames. Rats wearing little suits scurried around carrying trays with food and drink on them to various patrons at various locations.

There's a scattering of people around with friends or by themselves. Doing everything from nothing, to eating to reading to making a mess on the table because they've pulled apart a machine. The rats are not happy about that.

And of course there's the Window where the end of the universe can be seen in all its glory. As it is the natural time of death for the universe, it won't do anything to Zack beyond looking beautiful. Repeating every few minutes or so as time is rewound. People pay to watch the universe end, not be there when it ends after all.

Alec stands on the other side of the portal, which also corresponds to a doorway, even though he was behind Zack a second ago.

"Welcome to Milliways. The restaurant at the end of the universe."

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That's good, he does at least have material wealth that might get him somewhere outside of hell.

As for the souls thing though... "Huh." He wasn't expecting that. "Name only, remember? I never actually made a claim on 'em. Abe might let me have some, but he'd throw a shitfit if they were being set free."

Well, either the souls are his or they're not. It might at least make Abe give him a straight answer. Are they his by right? in which case Abe is stealing them from him. Or are they Abe's by right? which means Abe is lying about them being Zack's - which in turn creates doubt over Zack's actual status.

It makes his head hurt. "Being free's a problem for a soul. Any passing god could grab 'em up and lay claim. Dunno what's best. S'pose anything's gotta be better than hell though."

"Ah. Right. In name only. Annoying thing that," Alec admitted. Not something he ever had much of a problem with. He waggles his fingers in annoyance. "If they're yours in name, how could they not be yours? Even if you never claimed them, if someone says they're yours, they're yours, right? Otherwise they're stuck in some sort of limbo."

Maybe Zack has some responsibility to those souls? He should find out their status if only because of that. If he has control over them, then he can decide their fate, good or bad.

"She wouldn't let anything bad happen to them. Freeing them would send them on to somewhere good. At least if we put something together." We being, Zack, Alec and the Bar.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Zack looks around the place, seeing the rat bringing over their order. Good. His head hurts already. “Dunno, maybe they’re mine ‘cause I bring ‘em in. Or maybe they’re Abe’s ‘cause he’s the boss.”

He pushes his fingers into his hair again, gripping tight. “I'll do what I can to find out. Abe’s explanations tie me in knots most of the time.” A thought occurs. “Or I’ll just take ‘em and argue about it after.”

That might mean trouble but maybe he has some obligation towards these souls. Though he’s not sure of the technicalities. “I don’t cause their deaths, I’m just a vessel for what does kill ‘em. So I dunno. It’s prob’ly in the Accords somewhere but I can’t even read them.”

He’s not stupid. In fact Zack is quite bright, quick to catch on, and quite good at reasoning things out. When things are reasonable. So it’s odd that he should get all these headaches when he’s trying to understand or think something through. He’s never thought of that before. And now he is thinking about it, his head just hurts even more.

"Whatever you think is best. I can't say for you." Alec is not going to run his life for him. Though the hair thing is a bit interesting bordering on worrisome.

"No one ever taught you how to read?" Well, that makes sense. If he can read he can learn things. If he can learn things then Abe has less power over him.

There's a frown. Alec, with his dyslexia, is the last person to be able to teach someone how to read. He soldiers on but he wouldn't dare try and teach someone. If he can't keep the letters straight, then how could he help someone else do so. But there should be someway to do it.

"You all right?"

There's a bunch of things he needs to bring up with Abe. Zack will be running his own life a little more, he hopes.

"No. Abe did try, but it just made my head hurt." Which is another oddity. Abdiron actually trying? Zack has always wondered at it. It's not dyslexia on Zack's part either.

"M'okay." His elbows are resting on the table, and his fingers still in his hair as the rat delivers the food and drink. Zack does look up and murmur a small "thanks" though. He's trying.

Then he looks up at Alec. "Hurts when I try and work stuff out. But just now, I noticed it happens. Never thought much about it before. Anyway. It started hurting even more." A sigh, as Zack reaches for his glass of water. "I don't think it's 'cause I'm stupid. I'm not stupid, am I?"

At that, Alec snorts. "No. It's not because you're stupid. You're not stupid. Something is fucking with your head. I don't know what. But just because you don't know things doesn't mean you're stupid."

He takes his food and munches on a paradox before offering the basket to Zack. They don't taste like onion. That is really the only thing what one can say about them.

Sometimes it feels like it, but having somebody not of Antillioch tell Zack he’s not stupid goes a long way to helping some. “S’been happening for longer than I remember. Wouldn’t put it past that shitheel to have done this to me.”

It sucks, not just the head-fuckery, but the fact his brother did it, and the fact that as much as he tries to care about his brother, Abe just makes it harder and harder, especially lately, now Zack’s eyes have been opened, and he wants more for himself than just wandering the wastelands.

He tries a paradox. They definitely don’t taste like the onion rings they had in Alaska. “Want half my burger?” he offers, wishing he’d ordered something they could share.

Edited 2021-07-30 21:48 (UTC)

"Nah. I'm good, thank you," he said at the offer of the burger.

He holds up a hand, fried paradox in it, and asked, "Do you mind if I check to see what's going on?"

Next time, he'll order fries too.

Zack will regard the paradox in Alec's hand with a confused expression for a moment, then, "With my head?" He hesitates at that, unsure and still a tad troubled by magic - making the assumption that it's what Alec is going to use.

"Won't hurt, will it?"

"Nah. I just want your permission, you know?" Alec said. "For all I know you want it to stay mysterious. I'm not touching you. Just the space around you."

Briefly weighing up which is worse, mysterious pain, or an explained pain that still can't be cured, Zack goes for the latter, because it stands more chance of being helped.

And if it can't, at least that way he won't end up wondering about it for the next however-long. "S'pose it's better to know. Okay."

Knowledge is a dangerous thing. Which is why Alec is asking. It's also a bit invasive, to pick at someone's essence like he will. It won't hurt, but...

Eyes loosing focus, he peers at the space around Zack. The strings that make up his reality. All the connections that make him up. From him to Abe and everyone else he's interacted with. One of them would link to his headaches and then he could follow the string back to who did it. It won't do him any good to undo the problem if it could be redone, after all.

For a few moments, Zack just sits very still, but he is holding a cheeseburger. How can one have a cheeseburger and not take a bite? He does it slowly though, so hopefully it won't interfere with what Alec is doing. Too much.

The magic was used when Abe was making Zack, or at least modifying him. It may be from his very creation, but it's not part of what makes him Zack. In fact it's the opposite. It impedes what should make him Zack. It's a sort of lumpy, add-on, which suits its purpose very well but is hardly refined or elegant.

Nah. It won't interfere with anything. What he's looking at goes beyond any movement that Zack can do.

He blinks back and returns to focus into the 'real world' whatever that is. "Well. That is interesting...," he said slowly. "I know what's happened. Do you want to know what's going on?"

Again, because knowledge comes with a price. Does Zack really want to deal with the consequences? It'll be a three times ask on Alec's end, because you've got to acknowledge that yes, you really know what you want there.

This is good, because food. Zack can't help a small happy groan, and he half-closes his eyes to just focus on the flavours.

"Interesting?" That's good, right? or at least not bad. or Alec would have said if it was terrible. Zack continues for the next couple of mouthfuls, considering this carefully. He's now afraid it's a magic thing, and he's still very nervous about that.

"Gotta know," he says eventually. "If I don't I'll just imagine a shitload of what it might be. None of it good."

Interesting is interesting. That doesn't mean it's good or bad. It all depends on the person.

"The... there's a block on you. Keeping you from what ... you really are," he said slowly. "You're not what you think you are. You've been ... modified... it's a janky job, given time it'd come apart, but right now it's there."

It does depend on the person. It just so happens Zack is flapping over it a bit. He's used to pain. He carries it with him, having absorbed it when he works his apocalypse mojo. To think it's something else that he doesn't know about though, is a little disturbing.

"But I am what I really am," comes out of his mouth before he thinks. Zack assesses what he's just said and decides to go with it. "What else would I be?"

Putting down the burger, Zack rubs his jaw with his fingers, as if that will tell him that he's actually what he is, or whatever. Then realising how dumb that is, he asks instead, "How much time? for it to come apart?"

"What you really are? What else you might be? I don't know. There's only one way to find out. Get rid of the block," Alec said with a shrug and a munch of a paradox. "You might be multiple things."

He then laughs. "Don't ask me about temporal things. I've barely got a hang on existing in a linear time."

That blows Zack's mind. Seven billion years being what he is... the idea of something different is gobsmacking. Of course he wants a change though, isn't that what making friends with Alec and seeing new places was all about? He'll just rub his head because it hurts again. Quite a lot.

Which supports what Alec is saying.

The idea of existing outside of linear time is a weird concept too. Zack thinks it must be amazing to be Alec, despite all the shitty aspects.

"Could we... you..." Gaia's arse, Alec has given him so much already. He hates to ask, but, "would you help me get rid of it?" It's scary. No, it's fucking terrifying, the thought of magic and change, but to lose the pain would make such a difference to Zack's existence.

Alec's life is change, who he is and what he is changes from whim to whim. Thought to thought. There are constants. But even those constants change. The scar on his eye? It's a scar on his essence. Which is why it goes with him from reality to reality.

Currently.

It might change later.

As for it being amazing? Well... it is.

Amazing doesn't mean good after all.

"Sure. But it will have consequences. Abe had it done to you."

Very true, amazing can be all kinds of awful. Zack might possibly go for something with more variety than what he is though. His own existence might qualify as 'amazing' but it's basically the same old rinse-and-repeat cycle.

However terrifying change might be, it feels long overdue.

"Huh. Said I wouldn't put it past him, didn't I?" Zack isn't shocked, or even all that surprised. Which is sad. It makes him sad. If he had a younger brother, by Gaia, he'd never pull a fraction of the shit Abe does. "You mean consequences in Abe getting mad? Good. Let him. Arsehole.”

It might incur a punishment, but not having a near-permanent headache trumps that risk.

"So you did." Alec has the feeling that he will be talking with Abe soon. Because mentally, he's realized that he's vaguely adopted Zack. Ah well. Consequences will be dealt with later. Consequences will always be dealt with later.

"If you're fine with it, as long as you realize what you're getting into... I can get rid of it."

Well, he doesn't really know what he's getting into, but at least Zack realises he's getting into something. Which is more warning than he ever got when Abe created him... a dim memory now, but Zack is certain of that fact.

And now too, he has the choice, where he didn't before.

"Free will, right? Comes with its own set of problems."

He'll start munching on his burger again, pondering the future.

It's like the book he gave to the cultists. It's got warnings all over it. Do this wrong and your world will be doomed. You have to do it, as Zack said, free will. You must choose. Alec will not choose. He will give you the options. But he will not decide.

Zack will have to open up on the book and start the summons himself.

"Free will, such as it is, does come up with its own problems," he agrees. And a tilt of the head as he notices something across the room. "Mm... I'm going to be right back."

And he slides out of his chair to leave Zack alone.

Right now Zack feels very small and very daunted, despite all the power he can wield, given the right (or wrong) circumstances. But he's no coward. He may not consider himself brave, as such, but something has to change.

And change can be painful. That much he's learned from all the foolish mortal organisations who put wealth before the welfare of their planet.

"Uh. Oh...kay." It's actually a little alarming when Alec leaves but Zack will continue to be brave. It's the first time he's been left alone outside of Antillioch since they met. Alone in a restaurant full of strangers. He'll just glower at a few of them, and finish his meal.

Edited 2021-08-02 15:47 (UTC)