I feel like I should wangst

[element_wizard]

So the kids.

We stopped the people who were taking them.

But we were too late in a sense. They had raised their god.

Except it wasn't a god.

It was Lorac.

Lorac... of all the people. They thought he was a god! He tricked the head priest into doing this for him. So that he'd get resurected after I killed him. All those kids... dead because of him.

Because of him so he could get to me.

Corry says it's not my fault. Verra says it's not my fault. It's that he's crazy. But I keep on thinking that he wouldn't be crazy if it weren't for me.

Damnit! I'm not going to get upset. I'm not going to. I'm not. I'm not going to let this get to me.

It wasn't my fault. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't.

Comments

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

I know. It doesn't help that he came back for me. And that everything he does is for me. He loves me in some sort of really sick and twisted way. Really, really, really sick and twisted way.

Did you talk to your shrink?

[nybard.livejournal.com]

He nods. "She says if you want to bring the kid, she can squeeze you in after my next appointment."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

That'd be great. It's a big relief off my mind.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

"You're welcome."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

So when is the appointment? I'd hate to miss it.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

"Oh, in a couple of days. I had to... get it moved forward."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

*head tilt curious* Everything okay on your end of things?

[nybard.livejournal.com]

He coughs slightly. "Um. Fine."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

*Look. That Look that parents give their kids, when they know that the kid is hidding something.* My son tries that on me too. I don't believe him either.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

He shrugs. "I just said something stupid, and I need to talk it out with her."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

He studies him for a moment, "Alright. I can accept that."

[nybard.livejournal.com]

"Good."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

I do hope everything works out.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

He smiles wryly. "I'm sure it will. Magnus says I'm overreacting."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

Your brother is... a very special child.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

He laughs. "Do I want to know what you meant by that?"

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

We met and talked and he doesn't seem to understand that you don't need to believe to understand, or understand to believe.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

He nods. "He's... confused. And very young."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

I've found that children can believe easier... at least in my world. Yours.. they seem so much more jaded and at the same time naive.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

"He's been through a lot. He was living on the streets when I found him."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

Oi. That's not good. But it explains alot.

[nybard.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. Our parents tried to turn him into a trophy, and he was stronger than I was, and got out."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

Trophy?

[nybard.livejournal.com]

"They wanted a child who was a musical prodigy."

[elementwizard.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head, "Gods I know that feeling. I'm always afraid I'm going to do that to my kids."